Brace yourself – Czech humour is coming!

Speaking about culture, we must come across different types of humour depending on which country we are in. Every nation is witty in its own specific way and particular jokes from other countries can be misunderstood or even totally incomprehensible. What is Czech humour like and would you like these unique Czech jokes?
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If you have visited the Czech Repulic, you probably have noticed that Czech people are quite sincere – we don’t smile when we don’t feel like doing so, we‘re not polite when we don’t want to be – but on the other hand, when we ask “how are you?” we actually mean it. This trait of sincerity is reflected in our particular style of humour. As we are open, sincere and frank, there is no tabu when it comes to our witty humour. You can joke about everything (and I mean absolutely everything) and in most cases no one will find it offensive, although maybe just sort of disgusting.

In general, Czech humour is characterised as dark and sarcastic. When it comes to Czech jokes, they are considered funny and yet cruel at the same time. Czechs especially like to make fun of their politicians, other countries, national stereotypes,  their cities (Prague especially ), social minorities, Chuck Norris, blondes and even themselves.

Enough with just talking about our fabulous humour, why don’t you experience it on your own? Are you up to reading a few typical Czech jokes, from the least cruel to the cruelest ones? I sincerely hope you‘ll enjoy it. However, brace yourself – Czech humour is coming!

What does a sloth do when the forest is on fire? He is on fire too.

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There are four men aboard a plane: A Czech, an American, a Russian and a Brit. Suddenly, the pilot calls that they are going to crash and that everybody must leave the plane immediately. However, there are only three parachutes. The American says: “Well, my country is the world’s leading superpower, so I’m taking one.” He takes it and jumps out of the plane. The Russian says: “Well, I’m a Russian intellectual and we are a rare breed. Our country needs me. I’m taking one.” He takes a parachute and jumps. The Brit says: “Well, Sir, we Brits are gentlemen, so you can take the last one and I’ll die a noble death.” And the Czech replies: “Don’t worry, we’re good. That Russian highbrow took my backpack instead of the parachute.”

A woman went  to the doctor, totally black and purple in the face. “What happened to you, miss?” asks  the doctor. “When my husband comes home from the pub every night, he beats me. What should I do to prevent this horrible behavior?”

“Make yourself a chamomile tea and right when your husband gets home from the pub, start gargling with the tea. Come back in a week for a check-up.”

After a week the woman comes back for her check-up, her face completely healed, and says:”It worked,doctor! He does not beat me anymore!” The doctor says: “I knew that if you shut up, everything is going to be fine..

The family is eating dinner. Mom asks her unhappy looking son:”What’s wrong Pepicku?” “I don’t like my sister”. “Then put her on the side of the plate”.

[Čeština]

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