Hey, man, have you carried your girlfriend’s handbag?

Just out of curiosity, I typed this topic and googled it. Then I am pretty surprised by the results. I never know it is such a hot topic about whether or not for a guy to carry his girlfriend’s or his wife’s handbag. But, believe me or not, to carry girlfriends’ handbag is way too often to be seen in China, when you walk around in shopping mall, parks or take subway. Chinese will not even consider this is a topic which is should be addressed. Men are physically stronger than women, why not? This is a way to show how they care about their girlfriends.

I-love-uBut I know, most western guys do not like it, or at least, German dislike it a lot. Why? I have several girlfriends who are dating German, and they often complain about it. This makes me think why it happens at the first place.

Dating a Chinese guy means you never need to worry about paying the dinner bill or any bill when he takes you out for a date. Dating a Chinese guy means he is in charge of everything: he will help you to fix your computer or mobile phone problems if those ever happen to you; he will absolutely help you to move in or out; he will make the whole trip plan, booking the hotel, buying the ticket, if you two decide to travel around; he is your lover; he is your “doctor”; he is your “technician”; he is your “driver”; he is your “teacher”; he is everything. Sounds wonderful, isn’t it?

Yeah, probably. But you don’t see the other side. In Chinese culture, the relationship is very different from the one in Western culture. Chinese men have very strong control desire and Chinese women have very severe sense of lacking security. The way German treat a woman is like to treat a “lady”; the way Chinese treat a woman is like to treat a “princess”. Most Chinese men want to control everything towards their lovers, in the mean time, they spoil them too. Women are more like “pets”; therefore, the role of women in a relationship is how to please their “masters”. Chinese men are very much enjoying to be worshiped by their lovers.

Because of that, the “lifelong career” for a Chinese woman is to find a good husband. A good quality of marriage matters everything for women, especially for those Chinese girls who are close to 30, which is considered to be the latest marriage age. When they reach 30 and they are still single, they will lose the interest to get to know this man, to like him, to fall in love with him. They think it will take too long to risk it. Time is everything. They have a very clear goal to date a guy: whether or not to marry me?

I personally dislike this mentality. It is sick and it is pathetic. Many countries have achieved the freedom of homosexual relationship. Well, in our case, we still have a long way to go to achieve the freedom of heterosexual relationship.

[汉语]

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