I Lost My Phone Number, Can I Have Yours?

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So typical: You are walking down the street, go past a construction site and some random worker shouts at you: “I wish I could be always drunk to see two of you.” You don’t even turn around to look; you just decide to walk a bit faster so the guy won’t have time to think of a more creative pick-up line.

In Latin America shouting pick-up lines is almost mandatory for men. Men don’t need to wait for a gorgeous supermodel-like woman to pass by, they can flirt with just about any girl just to carry out their duty; it’s almost like a daily quota heterosexual men have to comply with in order to be part of the macho club. On the other hand, Latin American women are used to hearing and immediately ignoring those lines, in the same way city dwellers are used to ignoring the noise of traffic at rush hour.

So, now I wonder, if we ignore pick-up lines, if we think they are useless, annoying, CHEESY, and in some cases disgusting, why do men keep using them?! Don’t you guys know that we find them simply laughable? There is no such thing as a good pick-up line, so DON’T USE THEM. That being said, here’s a little list with some of the things you should NOT say:

  • The Classics:
    “Hi, I’m new ’round here; can you tell me where can I find your apartment?”
    “Do you mind if we share a taxi to MY place?”
    “Tell me your name to put you on my Christmas wishlist!”
    “If being sexy were a crime, you’d be in jail for life.”
    “So many curves, and I just can’t hit the brakes.”
    “If you can cook like you walk, I’ll move in to your place.”
    “Excuse me, don’t we have a friend in common who can introduce us?”
  • The romantic style (and cheesiest):
    “I think the sun is walking along the sidewalk.”
    “If beauty were a sin, you’d be in hell.”
    “Angels must be falling off the sky…”
  • Narcissistic lines (You’re supposed to compliment the other person, not yourself!):
    “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”
    “If I were you, I’d be in love with me.”
    “If you don’t take the pleasure of getting to know me, you won’t ever have the pleasure of trying to forget me.”
  • Nerdies:
    “My Mac is jealous ’cause it thinks you’re prettier than it”.
    “When I google “Love” you’re the first hit.”
    “You’re the “Enter” of my life.”
    “Tell me your name to add you to ‘My Favorites’.”
  • Conversation style:
    -Aren’t you tired?
    -Of what?
    -Tired of running through my mind.

    -You’ll need to buy me a dictionary.
    -Why?
    -’Cause the moment I saw you, I ran out of words.

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5 thoughts on “I Lost My Phone Number, Can I Have Yours?”

  1. Ah, the optimism of mankind! Not humankind, but mankind. But at least the pickup lines make for great jokes!

  2. Pingback: Cheesy pick up lines you should never want to use! - Lexiophiles

  3. Great text! And also very funny! There are two other classic and cheesy pickup lines here in Brazil:

    ” -Was it hurtful?
    -What?
    -When you felt from the sky.”

    If you’re walking the dog: “Does the little dog has a telephone number?”

  4. Actually, I think we Latin American women DO like pick up lines “piropos”. They can be embarrassing, annoying, but on the other hand it is part of our culture, and a way to feel attractive. And this affects especially middle-aged women, I guess. A friend of mine is living in Canada (she is from Argentina), and her mom was visiting for the first time this summer. The mother´s surprised comment in the street: “How come nobody says “piropos”, not even look at you?”

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