If the iPhone wants to be sold in India (despite the current price) they’ll need to give us buyers a little incentive. Here are a few applications that we thought Indian buyers might find useful.
• The Time Zone Interpreter: When your friend says he’s coming at 5:30 PM, you know he’s coming at 6:45. If you’re invited to a wedding reception at 6 PM, everyone thinks you’re weird if you’re there a minute before 8 PM. However, if it’s a job appointment at 9 AM, they really mean 9 AM. How do you remember all these conversions? It’s easy, with the new Time Zone Interpreter! Just put in the time and the category (family function, friends meeting or business appointment) and it converts from Indian Standard Time to Indian Actual Time.
• The Relative Recognizer: No need to feel embarrassed any more when that distant aunt pulls at your cheeks (in what is laughably called affection) and demands to know if you remember her name! This new application can tell you which aunt it is simply by recognizing the voice. Just record the voices and names of all your aunts in advance, and keep your iPhone in grabbing distance while being accosted by your aunt.
• The Song Player: Did you ever wish you lived with a background soundtrack like the Bollywood movies? Well, The Song Player is the application for you! It detects the mood of the situation by grabbing audio inputs and plays a background song suited to the circumstances.
• The Nodalyzer: Analyzing the Indian nod is an art – and not all Indians have mastered it. Ever been in a situation where you just couldn’t tell if that wild rotation of the head was a nod or a shake? It won’t happen again, with the Nodalyzer! Just take a short (and discreet) look at our sample nods in the Nodalyzer Gallery.
• Gain by Bargain: In India, you never pay what the seller quoted first. It is considered the epitome of stupidity if you do. (In fact, the seller might even feel slightly offended.) But bargaining takes great talent, and not everyone has it. With our new application, you’ll know exactly what price to argue for! It calculates which price you should quote as against what the seller said. Additional feature: If you can discreetly take a video of the seller’s face, our inbuilt Nodalyzer program can enhance efficiency based on the body language.
• The TV Shop Finder: Cricket matches are not meant to be watched in solitude. If you’re not home and there’s an important match on (and any cricket match with the Indian team in it is an important match) what do you do? Well, of course, you look for the nearest TV store! Our new TV Shop Finder can list all the TV shops within a 2km radius of your current location, and also the approximate viewership crowd at each one.
• The Character Detector: So, you’re a new addition to the viewership of this TV family drama show? This application can tell you whether a character is likely to be Good or Bad, based on various parameters such as the makeup, the jewellery, the outfits, the arch of the eyebrow and the pitch of the voice. Simply take a 30 second video grab of the character you wish to analyze.