Panzer and German Porno

Everyone knows that we – Poles don’t like Germans, and they respectively hate us too. That is why, today we will talk about the stereotypes. Let’s start with the fact the polish word “Niemiec” (“German“) means somebody who is actually dumb. On the other hand, every Pole learns German at school, but when it comes up to speaking, they can proudly give you only “weish ish nisht” (incorrect version of “I don’t know“). Once upon a time I asked my friends to say something in German. Could be anything, but the most often were: “Panzer”, “Blitzkrieg” and “Obstsalat”. I still can’t figure it out, why there is a fruit salad among the subject of military!? Besides, before I left Poland, someone with a very serious expression advised me to watch out for German men (or women?), because they are famous for sadomasochistic porno movies! But let us leave aside the history and pornography, Germany has many other stereotypes.

Ugly women

Of course it’s not true, because as in every nation – are ups and downs, and I would even say  that German women are pretty… don’t you know Heidi Klum or Claudia Schiffer? And give me at least one world-famous Polish model. But every stereotype has a grain of truth in it, because how can you imagine Bertha, Helga and Brunhilda look like? … and personally I won’t never forget, when once in the grocery store the name of the cashier was Rosamunda… or maybe it was Amalberga?

Beer, sausage and a big belly

Currywurst, Bratwurst, Mettwurst – sausages everywhere, but “es ist mir Wurst” as they say – I do not care! Wash it down with liters of German Oktoberfest beer and wait for the result. The problem is, I wonder where you all fat Germans gone? And show me one middle-aged Pole, who does not dry sausages in his garage and doesn’t have enough beer muscles yet!

The quality of highways

Oh, haven’t you heard of the German quality? Are you crazy?! Well, the highways… they are so straight, plain and smooth, fast and even free! Recently I had an opportunity to cross the Polish-German border near Szczecin (Stettin). Most of the route I was able to sleep peacefully in the passenger seat, when suddenly, a few kilometers before the border, enormous turbulence woke me up. It was exactly as if the road screamed from afar: “welcome to Poland!” At least in our country you can easily deal with the cellulite.

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   [Polish]

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