Top 3 worst places in the world to play Pokémon Go

Usual Disclaimer: You are about to read a paper written by a tasteless person when it comes to humor, making gross and unfunny jokes all the time and who stills lives at his parents’ house, so don’t be offended if something mentioned in this article bothers you by any means. Oh, and it is 100 percent for humoristic purposes.

Here we are again doing some clickbait and lurking for views/likes/re-posts/hashtags which makes me lose the last part of decency that remained within me. I know that this topic is far from original, and you will probably (like my coworkers) criticize my lack of inspiration, professionalism or even intelligence. So yes guys, today I will not come up with a topic that is worthy of competing for the Pulitzer Price (which is what usually happens when I write something). Instead I offer you the 3,684,321,789th article about Zombimon Go to be published on the web. If you are not hunting some Pidgeys or torturing some Caterpies at the moment, you should take a look at this article.

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Number 3: PETA Headquarters in Norfolk VA, USA

These guys don’t laugh at animal cruelty, no matter if the animals are real or not. If they see you harassing this poor virtual Pikachu then you are in trouble, man. Here is what awaits you if you get caught: you will be arrested and forced to appear in front of a “special” tribunal which will decide your fate. In general they offer you 2 choices: death or being trapped in one room for 24 hours with the leading Peta supporting celebrities: Khloe Kardashian, Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus. We already know what choice you’ll make.

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Number 2: Australia.

In Australia you don’t catch the creatures, they catch you. Seriously, everything that moves wants to kill you in this place forgotten by the gods. The problem is: Sheepimon Go involves a lot of outside activities which will lead you to a painful death in Nopestralia. You will either confuse an inland taipan snake with an Ekans and be bitten to death while trying to catch it, or you will just come across one of the 135 venomous spider species present in Australia while looking for a Draconite. Do not try to be a hero lad, stay home with the curtains closed and play on your PS4 like every other geek.

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Number 1: North Korea

Actually the game concept is a little bit different in North Korea, and a little bit more dangerous too. In this country you are the Pokémon and you are surrounded by a lot of trainers (called policemen in the local language) who are craving to catch you. Interesting fact: the game is only available in hardcore mode meaning that you will have only one chance to avoid the speeding bullets “pokéballs” the trainers will launch at you.

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Bonus: All places involving children.

People will think that you are trying to take pictures of children when you were just trying to catch that Pikachu. And trust me, after having tried several prisons around the world, you don’t want to end up in such places… there are only Ratatas in there.

via GIPHY

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