When I decided to go abroad, I imagined my new home as a huge adventure park. Full of attractions which are just waiting to be explored. With plenty new people ready to be met and a feeling of an immense freedom deep inside of me. After my arrival, I immediately knew that this image was exaggerated and had nothing to do with reality.
The attractions became huge question marks, the plenty new people became complete strangers and the feeling of freedom drastically turned into fear. Was I capable of this whole new life? Was I ready to fly with my little wings which I just had developed? I started thinking about all possible situations and ended up with only one thought – leaving, now! Back to my cosy nest – back to my family, my friends and my routine. I suddenly regretted so much that I had brought myself into all that and just wanted to rewind my life with a reminder saying “don’t do it!”.
But despite the huge emotional chaos in my head and heart, something inside me told me not to step back into my little familiar microcosm. Was it pride? Ambition? Cowardliness? I really don’t know. One thing I know for sure is that this decision – to face my fear and jump into the deep end – made me strong. It showed me that I really can do it on my own, that I can get used to this whole new and strange situation without a map or parental navigation and that every beginning is hard but, as long as you have the confidence in yourself, everything will turn to good account. Sooner or later.
Especially in borderline situations you feel that you are alive. Going abroad all alone is for some, like for me, such a borderline situation. At the beginning it’s all a huge mess. You are not sure if you can unravel that immense ball of wool all by yourself. But as soon as you find the beginning of the thread, everything runs on wheels – so you just have to get started.
To make this start from scratch a bit more easier, you can join special organisations, like AIESEC, which help you with all the important things for example the citizenship registration or the application for a bank account. The best part of being in an organisation – you will easily get to know other people and won’t feel that alone anymore.
But always remember: “home” is not always just connected with a special country, a special place or a specific circle of friends. It’s the feeling when you are content with yourself and your life. When you have confidence in yourself and your actions and when you just feel fine.
“Home is where your story begins” – so get up and start to write yours!